Alpenglow

It's like the moments just before 11:11 flashes on the digital clock: how 11:10 seems to outlast all of the other minutes, stretching so as to not fall into the nothing between the time. The stretch that comes before change can seems long, exasperatingly slow, but the comforting part is that the fall never happens. The nothing never rapidly approaches your face. For as long as humanity has been on this earth, 11:11 has arrived and, sometimes with a sideways glance, so the new reality has appeared, still hazy around the edges from transformation.

I'm in a stretch right now. Maybe my life is one terraced stretch after the other, overlapping like zebras transcending the golden grasses. In an effort to make it over the threshold, I'm trying to give myself permission to linger on the small things. This is a cliche which sounds straightforward and effortless, but I've learned it's much harder than I would have initially thought when dealing with such heavy weights as 24/7 news cycles and macroeconomics midterms.

Last weekend, I drove up Big Cottonwood Canyon to Brighton Ski Resort, its chairlift hanging as a spindly relic against the gold-and-mocha hills. A few miles brought me to Lake Catherine. I am blessed, blessed, blessed beyond measure to have lived where I have, and to be familiar with the immensity of the outdoors. Although I can't help but score the Wasatch mountains roughly a 4 out of 10 overall, this lake gave me something I needed. There is NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING like the silence of the backcountry. It's not a silence coming from lack-of-noise. Silence in a class or a library or a car is empty, can easily be broken by some words, improved upon. But the silence in these natural places is already full; it's its own entity that you don't want to tear a hole in.

It's that vast peace and profundity that I need to be better at letting fill my humdrum everyday life when I'm back to the places I frequent daily. I have a feeling that when I do that, my goal of fully appreciating oft-overlooked things (to let the things that would ordinarily bore me suddenly thrill me, if you will-- bonus points to me for staying on brand) will be closer. Things like the two potted plants that have now sat on my various windowsills for more than a year; the way that the crisp, cold air fills my lungs, tangible and rejuvenating; the unique shade of lavender that softly colors the mountains for no more than 10 minutes every evening; the fact that even though there's no temporal reason for it, I'm given the capacity for a perfect hope in what I pray for.

I'm learning that at least for me, peace is not something that alights gently on a fingertip as the screen fades to vignette. It's a fight. My heart aches for the things which I lack and the things I wish I could share; the bruises are ginger to the touch. It requires a concentrated effort, a winding of the clock, to maintain steady breathing and a soft brow. But I'm progressing.

Sophomore Year

I'm now in my third week of my sophomore (technically junior) year here at BYU. Three weeks in, and I have no missing assignments in Arabic. Three weeks in, and I have yet to unpack a few bags. Three weeks in, and today for the very first time I remembered to wear my glasses.

My schedule is so very full and hectic that it's hard to find time to step back and observe. Ironically, "the life observed" is the subject of one of my classes, and I rarely have been so removed from it. From the outside looking in, though, I realize how strange it all is. To be a university student, nearly twenty years old. I had visions and ideas about what, who, why I would be at this very point, but now it's... strange. At least thinking about it in the way I have been today. You know how you learn in science class, middle school level, about atoms? And how no matter how tightly you grasp that pencil in your hand, you're never really touching it. The space between the atoms is still there. It blows the 7th-grade mind, you feel as if touch and pressure and texture have all somehow been disproved. In a way, I guess that's how things feel now. I can touch and I can feel pressure and I can discern texture, but it's never, quite, quite, quite there.

I've found myself thinking back to my second year of high school, comparing. Did I feel the same way? About direction and involvement and velocity? I want it to be a perfect parallel, but deep down I'm worried the mountain has been summited.

Last Saturday I went up Provo Canyon with Emma (thank goodness for Emma!), just to Bridal Veil Falls, nothing exceptional. It's become obvious to me over the last few years that I breathe differently in the mountains. The air is crisp and I feel content to let it feel every pocket of my lungs, whereas in Provo I don't breathe deeply. The air isn't the same. In the quiet, with the crisp, fearless air, I sometimes ask myself, like the umbrellas or the hats of lucid aspirations, is this me? Truly? And I think, usually, yes.

Reflection

It's been two and a half years since I last posted on this blog, and much more than that since I really put any sort of time or effort into it. A few weeks ago I pulled my URL out of the recesses of my memory and looked back over my posts throughout the years, and found this one: http://mandisolomon.blogspot.com/2013/03/hey.html .

I typed out those words when I was sixteen years old. Do I believe that I was unusually eloquent, open-minded, brave, ambitious? Not really. But I was me, unabashedly at that time, and now four years later I miss that girl. She was nearly four years younger than I am now with a lot of growing up to do, but I know that I've since lost some important things. Only temporarily, I hope.

The past has always been both a friend and a heartbreak to me, an ephemeral presence my fingertips can only brush against. I treasure the good times that I can never again return to, and while I'm excited, hopeful, and passionately invested in the future, there's a security and comfort that accompanies who I used to be, while my present self seldomly fits just right.

I don't regret the hours I put into the layout and posts and photos on this blog (#sparklesandsuchforever) because it is my own personal amber record, a snapshot, however incomplete, of my progression (and, sometimes, regression). Different mediums bring out, for me, different angles, and it's my hope that in the future I'll be able to use this blog not for followers or social influence, but for a personal means of introspection.

Prom- again

Surprise guys! Maybe I do have qualities which other human beings don't find repulsive! Last Thursday I came home from school to find caution tape all over my house. I had a split second of wondering if my family had been murdered in my absence before realizing- ah. Prom. The dreaded and loved season of having to keep your room clean just in case. I went inside and saw more caution tape everywhere as well as a sign with my name on it. A series of these same signs led to my bedroom and spelled out "Mandi I am dying to to to prom with you!" Then I opened the door to my room and saw Scott laying on the ground "dead". He jumped up and said "Don't let me die!" and handed me a rose. Too cute. :) I'm really excited because Scott is one of my very best friends so it'll be a blast.

Now to respond. Ideas? 

[Read about last year's prom escapades here, here, and here.]

Zayn Malik

I think I've finally got my blog design to a point where I could potentially be happy with it for at least a month. Bad 80s color schemes are my favorite.

Over the last year my life has changed so much in that college is now a near reality. Adults have apparently lost the ability to ask about any other aspect of existence apart from my future educational goals. Yes, I have the grades and the stellar test scores to make the admittance process easy, but there's still the small matter of I have no clue where I want to go. I don't want to have to worry about debt, I don't want to have to worry about the availability of husband-options. I just want to study abroad and meet people who are the same as me and also who are completely different than me. My current plans are to major in journalism. It's not the most relevant degree with regards to being successful in the actual field, but hey. If anyone has any advice about where to go, what to consider, how to prepare, etc. It would be much appreciated.


I guess the real issue with my indecisiveness and noncommittal-ness is that while I want to learn and take classes and experience new things, I don't want to face the reality of a career and life beyond. Mainly my life goal is to travel the world with my husband. Hmm.
Rock on.

I want to know your 3am personality

I am not a person who is attracted to a great many boys. If I like you consider yourself special because you're one of very few. I also get really attached. Not necessarily emotionally or physically, but just in the way that I won't let go of wanting to know you better until I discern your tragic flaw. 

Hence here I am 4 years later, still hanging on even though everything tells me that I should move on. Silver slivers of hope trail behind you and I hold on for dear life despite what my rational self yells. 

I think the problem might be that I am a person unusually, perfectly suited for being married. I don't compete for any kind of relationship and I don't share things. Having a constant confidante and partner is something my personality desperately craves and has never experienced. Here's to the future. 

I wish I could put an emoji here

I'm not even one of the people who are like 'I should blog more', because I don't feel an obligation.
But I keep thinking maybe I'll do some fashion posts? They seem fun.
I'm not abandoning forever though because when I am an adult I will be a mix of Naomi Davis and Hailey Devine.




I've started a habit neither good nor bad of writing on receipts. The paper is so great and I cannot help but find a sharpie and scribble down some song lyrics or my last tweet or an abstract spanish phrase. I'm so visual and I have this innate desire to attach some tangibility to my thoughts, emotions, memories. It helps a lot.





45 days until Mexico. 152 days until Tonga. NYC will be a few months after that and hopefully Europe after that. It's worth everything.

Sincerely, Insta

On the topic of eyewear

Yes, that's me with an empanada. The important thing to notice is the awesome hot pink and tortoiseshell of my glasses.

Guys, I love eyewear. Especially now that the really smart-looking ones are in style. You will never find truer magic than when a boy puts on a pair of really smart-looking glasses. It's wonderful. However, I don't wear my glasses entirely often, because of a fact I don't always like to admit. It's been a source of great heartache to me. Long story short, one of my eyebrows is higher than the other one.

I know, awkward right?

I've learned to accept this trial though, and does it dampen my love of the appearance of nerd through eyeglasses? No.

I was in Utah this past weekend when I noticed my cousin wearing the cutest new pair of prescription eyeglasses. And she got them online! (If you're anything like me, you love online shopping, because it's not socially acceptable to wear pajamas and eat oreos while shopping at the mall.) If you're interested, I recommend you check out GlassesUSA.com.

For your reading pleasure I've grabbed a few of my favorite styles, all available on their website.

So what do you think? Leave a comment on which style's your favorite and which just doesn't jive with you. And if you do decide to order glasses, make sure to stop by GlassesUSA and use one of these exclusive promo codes!
-Take 15% off + get free shipping on your entire order (orders over $50). Code: FS15
-Take 10% off any order of prescription glasses. Code: Blog10

The most wonderful time of the year

Is it bad that I started out the holiday season by perusing the websites of forever21 and urbanog and buying things for myself? Because I definitely did.

So basically all I have to tell you guys today is that Junior Year is hard. It is a hard thing.
Calculus and Chemistry are difficult, people in general are difficult, and when you're involved in 90% of your school's clubs and organizations, you get a bit overscheduled. My life's goal has become just keeping up: on homework and on this season of Modern Family. However, my goal is to blog more, so hopefully you will be hearing a bit more from me on this website.

And real quick, secret time. I love clothes and I like to think that I have a good sense of style. (Or at least, I'm good at judging other people's style heh) You guys wouldn't judge me too terribly if I started doing some outfit posts right? Okay, rock on.

DIY Floral Crown

*Note: the following post satisfies a project requirement for Floral Design. Rock on.

MATERIALS:
Wire cutters
Scissors
Heavy wire (this will be used to make the headband base; I used 12 gauge)
Floral Tape
Silk Flowers (I got a variety of shapes, colors, and sizes; it just depends on your style of crown)

OPTIONAL:
Ornaments for crown (beads, feathers, etc.)
Wired wood picks
Stem wire (20 gauge or thinner; you could use wire as an alternative to floral tape)

I picked up all of my materials from Michael's, and ended up having most of everything left over at the end.


-
-
-

Start by wrapping the heavy wire around your head and cutting it, leaving enough wire to wrap the ends together. The flowers at the end make it a little more snug, so make sure to leave room for that. 

Next take your stems of flowers and cute them so the flowers are 4-5 inches long individually.

Take your longest-stemmed flowers (I chose these because I liked leaving the leaves on) and attach them to the wire with floral tape. Wrap tightly around the stem and wire, stopping a little bit before the flower head and avoiding the leaves.

Do this around the entire headband, until it's completely covered with floral tape.

If you have any smallish buds, you can combine them by wrapping floral tape around the multiple stems, forming a corsage-like bunch.

Attach these bunches and the big flowers to the crown in the same manner you did at the first. Make sure that all buds point toward the front of the crown.

If you want to add any other decorations to your crown (in this case a bird's nest), poke a wired wood pick through, and then use the wire to attach the item to the headband.

VOILA! Flower crown just like that. :)

In love with.

Just do it.

http://ask.fm/mandiruth

Ask me ANYTHING.

Recently.

This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to compete in the Idaho State Solo Competition in violin! It was held in Post Falls, which long story short is practically Canada. My mom and I flew, thank goodness; enduring 18 hours in a car roundtrip would have killed me.
I practiced hours upon hours upon hours. And I usually don't get nervous. But before I went in to play for the judges, like I wasn't consciously freaking out, in my mind I was fine, but physically my stomach felt sick and I almost started crying and I felt like throwing up. So I mean, there was that. But I did my best and I felt good about how I played. I ended up getting 12th, if my friend Aubrie is to be deemed trustworthy, so I mean nothing exceptional, but for a sophomore in the whole state I'm completely good with that. :)
That night I saw something on twitter about He is We playing a concert in Spokane, and seeing as we were only about a half hour away, I begged my mother to take me. So, Spokane Block Party 2013, I was there. I saw He is We for the second time, my favorite band in the whole world. They are literally the only band I could see in concert that I know every single word (they even exceed One Direction.... shhh.) Rachel is amazing. That's all. The best part, though, was that the concert was for college kids, at a coffee shop, in Washington, benefiting a charity. And I'm not in college, not from Washington, I don't drink coffee, and I'm not at all involved with that charity. But hey.
This morning my mother and I went to Coeur d'Alene and went to the Dockside restaurant, etc., it was all quite grand. Then we hopped on a plane that was basically the tower of terror and returned to my small little brown ugly hometown. Tada. :)

TMI.

1: What are you wearing?

A sweatshirt- due to the fact that Idaho weather is bipolar and we're having some heavy-duty snow

2: Ever been in love?

Not romantically no. Wait scratch that- Zayn Malik

3: Ever had a terrible breakup?

Nope

4: How tall are you?

5'7'' and a half

5: How much do you weigh?

126 lbs

6: Any tattoos do you want?

No

7: Any piercings that you want?

No sirree

8: OTP?

Don't hate me for this, but Harry and Hermione would have been so cute

9: Favorite Show?

Psych, Modern Family, The Middle

10: Favorite bands?

One Direction, He is We, The Ready Set

11: Something you miss?

Summer weather. Camping. Canoeing.

12: Favorite song?

"I Can't Help Falling In Love With You"

13: How old are you?

Sixteen years, six months, and five days

14: Zodiac sign?

Libra

15: Hair Color?

Brown- currently with blue and white extensions

16: Favorite Quote?

"For with God nothing shall be impossible." -Luke 1:37

17: Favorite singer?

Zayn Malik, Enya, TSwizzle

18: Favorite color?

White

19: Loud music or soft?

Soft, usually

20: Where do you go when you're sad?

My journal

21: How long does it take you to shower?

Half hour+

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Recently, 15 minutes

23: Ever been in a physical fight?

Nope

24: Turn on?

Khaki pants

25: Turn off?

Small-mindedness

26: The reason you started a blog?

The fact that it's another form of journaling. Also, Bailey Whitehead

27: Fears?

Injuries, especially lacerations. Also not succeeding

28: Last thing that made you cry?

Tanner Beymer's state FFA officer retirement address

29: Last time you cried?

Saturday

30: Meaning behind your url?

It's my name. dumbhead

31: Last book you read?

This Side of Paradise, F. Scott Fitzgerald

32: Last song you listened to?

"Blackbird", The Beatles

33: Last show you watched?

The Middle

34: Last person you talked to?

My sister Grace

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

Young Womens' Prez

36: Favorite food?

McDonalds' McGriddles, penne alfredo, potato soup, honeymustard&onion pretzel pieces

37: Place you want to visit?

New Zealand

38: Last place you were?

Aubrie's car

39: Do you have a crush?

But of course

40: Last time you kissed someone?

Today (Taylan. On the cheek. No homo)

41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?

My sister, saying "I cleaned the whole house and you just were on the computer". Possibly true, but ruude

42: What color underwear are you wearing?

White with pink flowers

43: What color shirt are you wearing?

Red, white, and blue striped

44: What color bottoms are you wearing?

AE jeans

45: Wearing any bracelets?

Nope

46: Last sport you played?

Pool. Wow I have swag

47: Last song you sang?

"Hello, Goodbye", The Beatles

48: Last prank call you remember doing?

Saturday night with Trey

49: Last time you hung out with anyone?

Aubrie, saturday

50: Favorite movie?

Skyfall, The Amazing Spiderman, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Aristocats, High School Musical

Feel free to steal this if you're lacking any blogging ideas for the day.

Oh, hey.

Sometimes you don't get invited somewhere and it doesn't feel too good. Or maybe you take on two new violin students and feel horridly under-qualified. Sometimes you might not understand why your life feels stagnant. You probably don't understand why you can't get your grade in PreCalculus up. Whatever it may be, it's quite likely that sometimes you feel sad or tired or just.. over it.

Okay, the truth is, usually those sometimeses apply to me.
But do you want to know something amazing? Something potentially life-changing?
Or at least in those instances when you feel like nothing goes your way? Okay, get ready.

THE UNIVERSE IS CONSPIRING IN YOUR FAVOR.



Is that not the most awesome thought?



Heavenly Father knows you and loves you and has blessings already prepared, just waiting for you. You possess currently within you the potential to be amazing and memorable and exactly who you would want to be could you choose for yourself. The absolute only thing standing between how you are now and how desire to be is the fallacies you tell yourself. Not only do you have the power to be the most positive, sparkling person you know, but you were meant to be.

And that is pretty freaking awesome.

Because I be a rambler.

But first. Watch this video. I dare you not to fill up with joy.

• I'm all for expressing opinions, but I'm pretty darn sure that, unlike what your profile picture implies, you are not a red equal (or inequality) sign in real life.
• I want to move right NOWWW. One more month will kill me.
• What I've learned from Spring Break so far: waking up at 11:30 does not, in fact, make you any more awake throughout the day.
• Other people are in Taiwan or New York. Hey, I went to Costco yesterday.
• I am seriously in love with the high-heeled sneakers. I need some soon. Don't judge me.

THE PROM POST.

Prom 2013.

It was brilliant.

As in, 20+ page journal entry brilliant.

We had breakfast at Kade's house. 

And for our daydate we did the most nerdy marvelous thing ever.

We went down in the canyon, and all the boys brought their swords and battle axes and nerf guns.

And we had THE HUNGER GAMES.

Full on battle. 

Kade and I were District 12, obviously. He won once. (I was long since dead.)

We also had frozen yogurt. 

Then we took pictures and had dinner and went to the dance and danced and the whole thing was brilliant.
And it was perfect. And gorgeous.
And our school is one of the few that actually has a promenade, so we walked out and everyone clapped for us and we made a heart.
And he was a perfect gentleman all night. And I laugh too much when I'm around that kid, but hey.

Basically, it was a grand success.

One time we took Erikka's phone and took over 100 pictures of ourselves.

It's harder than it looks. And my mother totally did not have to help me. P.S. that was a lie.

Classy sassy.

If that isn't cute, I don't know what is.

Because photobombing is never innappropriate.

We like to call it "post-apocalyptic promenade"

He's the best-looking guy in the group. Am I right or am I right?

The rents.

Best Franns

Best Franns and our three handsome as heck dates.

Favorite picture of the evening.