Saturday, August 27, 2011

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Isn't that just the best blog post title ever?)

This is my collection of the best stupid nonsensical jokes ever.
You might find them extremely un-funny but I think they're a hoot. 
So yeah. :)

What is brown and sticky?
A stick.

What is green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don't eat a baby.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We are both lawyers.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common?
They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?

What's a vampire's favorite dessert?
Vampires aren't real.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
World War II.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends?
Because octopi are antisocial creatures by nature.

What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a bus.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?
Nothing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.

What's the difference between a mountain goat and a daisy?
A lot.

What's big, white, and will kill you if it falls from a tree?
A fridge.

Why did the plane crash?
Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff.

And the grand finale...

Why was the boy sad?
BECAUSE HE HAD A FROG STAPLED TO HIS FACE!!!


And that's all.

Bye bye, fruit fly!

3 comments:

  1. Mandi! Oh heck! I freaking love all of these! Oh man even though you told me all these yesterday, I laughed just as hard the 2nd time! Thanks for posting them:)

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  2. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANDI!!!! YOUR the bomb.com ZA!!! HAHA ;)

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  3. mandi, i finally got on!!! haha i haven't heard all of those other jokes yet!! they're so funny i love you, lets be best friends. along with all my other best friends of course! ;D <3

    ReplyDelete

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