Thank you Katelynn, Derek, Chad, Chantz, and my mother.

This morning I woke up with a minor stomachache.

Minor.

So I go to cross country practice at 8 and run a mile.

Quite quickly, if I do say so myself.

Then I stop. 

And walk.

And get passed by all of the middle schoolers.

Then I keep walking.

Then my stomach starts to explode.

And my uterus feels like a herd of elephant-baboons are playing racquetball inside.

[excuse the awkwardness.]

I decide to just go home because this is a recurring event in my life and I know I have a limited amount of time before I die. 

But no runners have a phone, not even the coach.

[though I feel like that would be a good thing for someone to have...]

And at this point I'm a mile away from mi casa.

So I pass a group of runners (going the opposite direction, of course) and my awesome friend Katelynn says she'll stay with me.

Bless her soul.

I walk.

And I die.

Then I just stop.

Then I sit.

And eventually you'll find me laying in the weeds on the side of the road.

The ants and I are now well acquainted.

Derek and Chad and Chantz run by, and I just kind of feebly look up and say,

"Can you go to my house and ask my father to come pick me up??"

And bless their souls as well, they run off.

So I'm sitting there with Katelynn, being pathetic, while they are at my house pounding on my door.

But my mother doesn't answer it for a while because she thinks they're just looking for me, and she's in her pajamas and doesn't want to answer the door.

But they keep pounding and eventually she answers.

Then she comes and picks me up.

And Katelynn runs back to the school.

And I lay in bed and take some Pamprin.

And eventually I return to my normal state of health.

My phone and waterbottle and chapstick are still chilling at the school.

Yay for people who you grew up with who have your back.